Motivation makes me hungry

I'm counting points again.
I don't want to but I need to.
I've gained about 8 or 9lbs since November. I'm 6 over goal weight.
It was fun eating like Fat-Emily for the last few months but I have a pair of skinny jeans that don't fit and that bums me out.
I get 20 pts a day. I've been good so far today. Still have 9 left.
I stuck to my plan even at Cracker Barrel.
My problem hasn't been lack of self control. It's been an extreme case of not giving a crap.
For the last few months, I've eaten what I want, when I want it. Even when I knew I was doing it for the wrong reasons.
So I'm back on the program.
I also bought Dancing with the Stars Cardio Dance DVD....it kicked my butt.
I only made it through 10 minutes the first time. I need to do aerobic exercises more often. I have the lungs of a 65 year old smoker. Well probably not, it just feels like it. I was fat all through out puberty and my 20s, so my lungs are weak. very weak. It's very annoying.
So now it's time to fix that.

Eating is more fun.

Eating on Sunday part 2

I ate some more fruit gummies (I love them!)
and Weight Watchers Lemon Cake (just 1pt I think)
I need to eat less snacks. I've had such a sweet tooth lately.
TheOldMan is making grilled chicken and mashed potatoes. We're also gonna have some of those steamed veggies that you just have to throw in the microwave :)
Green beans and corn on the cob.
I'm gonna try and not eat anything else. I'm also going to try and NOT drink anymore soda today. I've had too much already.
I don't want to update this so I'm going to try and not eat anything else. We shall see.

I don't have anything to blog about so let's see how much I can ramble on about nothing

I miss Lindsay. She's in Uganda. I know God is using her and blessing her journey but I still miss her a lot.
I'm excited LOST comes back in 2 1/2 weeks.
We put away Christmas decorations but forgot the outside lights and wreath.
I'm excited that my new perfume is coming in the mail tomorrow. I'm gonna smell pretty.
I get to see my family and celebrate Christmas again this weekend.
How I Met Your Mother is showing reruns on Lifetime now on Monday nights. That means 3 episodes every Monday! That is really awesome. We didn't watch the first season so it's like watching new episodes! That show is great.
I'm tired of the cold.
I haven't been to a weight watcher meeting since before Thanksgiving. I babysit every Tuesday so I can't go and it bums me out and I need to eat better.
I'm going to have pulmonary function tests on Wednesday so I can't have caffeine tomorrow and that bums me out.
I need to put a sweater on but there is a child sleeping in my room so I will stay in here and complain about the cold on my blog.
If I had $5000, I would have much nicer furniture.
I am excited for everyone to open their Christmas presents. I did a good job buying this year.
I haven't bought anything for Hermano or BlueEyes yet.
I haven't had spaghetti in a long time. That's weird because I love spaghetti. Maybe we'll have that for dinner.
Probably not though. TheOldMan works his second job tonight and if I fed Snickerdoodle spaghetti alone, then I'd be the one stuck cleaning it up.
I can't think of anything else to ramble on about so I guess this is the end.

Best Money I Ever Spent

I no longer have to pay to go to weight watchers. That's right!
6 weeks ago I got to my goal weight. My BMI is no longer classified as overweight or obese (like it was.) It is classified as Healthy.
Today I received my Weight Watchers Lifetime membership.
As long as I stay at goal weight (or up to 2lbs over) I do not have to pay.

When I got pregnant with Snickerdoodle two years ago, I was at my highest weight. I was devestated and thought that I was doomed to be fat forever.
Weight Watchers has been so easy. Well, it's not easy but it's like childbirth; the outcome makes you forget how hard it was. I know myself and I know that if it was too hard and didn't work, I would have given up. I do not like to work hard.

If you need to lose weight, go to a meeting. It is worth the time and money.

Before and After

2 years ago when I got pregnant with Snickerdoodle, I weighed 60 lbs more than I do now.
1 year ago when I joined Weight Watchers, I weighed 40 lbs more than I do now.

Check out the pictures. I know that size is just a number but size 6 feels much better than size 18 did.

BEFORE

AFTER

just being honest

• I am emotionally spent. This weekend kicked my butt. I think it's weird my brother is married. I hate that he's far away. (He's in the Caribbean.) I miss him. I almost got emotional going to Culver's for dinner because that's where my new sister-in-law works. Snickerdoodle keeps taking Uncle Hermano's picture off the fridge and carrying it around the house. He likes to look at pictures of his aunt and uncle and smile and babble. He misses them too.
• I'm watching Star Wars episode III (again) and wondering why I had such a crush on Hayden Christianson. He can't act. But he plays the bad guy and I always like the bad guy. This movie stinks. I've come to a sad conclusion that I think each Star Wars movie is really crappy but awesome in a way. I can't resist them though. Anytime this junk is on TV, I have to watch it. The prequels would have been better without Natalie Portman and Hayden Christianson. I love them both but these movies would have been better with different actors.
• I love staying home with Snickerdoodle but wish I could find a stinking job already. I hate that TheOldMan has to work two jobs. He's not home enough.
• I'm just feeling blah about these things, not curl-up-in-bed depressed. No need to worry.
• Senator Palpatine is a bad dude. I like him.
• I only have 2.8lbs to go until goal weight (yay.) I want to finish it up this week but I want Taco Bell too. This is my dilemma.
• Random fact: I like string cheese. a lot.
• I'm going to paint my toe nails two different colors. Maybe I'll post a picture. Probably not though. I have nice feet but I don't think I want a picture of my foot on the web.
• I don't know my neighbors names. I don't know if apostrophes belong in that sentence.
• Ewan McGregor made an awesome Obiwon Kenobi.
• Anakin Skywalker's about to kill all the younglings. That part makes me sad.
• My brother has hairy Chewbacca legs.
• I could eat WeightWatchers SmartOnes Stuffed Breakfast Sandwiches for at least 2 meals a day. They are delightful and scrumptious.

meme

Got this from Aunt Staci Love these things (I have an addiction to surveys. I love answering questions. Any time I can fill out a form about myself, I'm thrilled. I know, what a weirdo)

What was I doing ten years ago?
I went to Mexico that summer I think. It was summer before senior year of High School. (That makes me feel old.) I did get my hair cut really short that summer. Kind of wish I hadnt done that.

Five snacks I enjoy

1. Weight Watchers 1pt Chocolate Chip cookies
2. Jello Sugar Free Cinnamon Rice Pudding
3. Fiber One Oats & Caramel Chewy Bars
4. Baked Scoops and Salsa
5. Weight Watchers 1pt Peanut Butter Bliss Bars

Five Things on My To-Do List Today

1. take care of Snickerdoodle
2. mentally prepare for job interview :(
3. eat
4. go check on Merdoc again
5. laundry

Things I Would Do If I Were a Billionaire
Be debt-free. Buy a very nice house for me and for loved ones. Give away a ton. Buy anything my little heart desired.

Five Jobs I Have Had

1. Worked at the DQ for a month
2. Jewelry counter at Walmart
3. Cracker Barrel Old Country Store
4. Prairie Years Bookstore
5. Childlike Faith Home Daycare

Five of My Bad Habits

1. extreme laziness
2. lack of desire to work hard
3. eating when not hungry
4. computer addiction
5. keeping a messy house

Five Places I Have Lived

1. Western Illinois
2. small coal-mining town in Indiana
3. St Louis
4. small town east of St Louis
5. Central Illinois

Five People I Would Like to Get to Know Better

1. Jaymi
2. Hermano
3. BlueEyes
4. Perry Mason
5. Yadier Molina

Five Random Things About Me

1. I'm loyal
2. I can clap with one hand
3. Every 6-8 months I switch from Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke or the other way around
4. I watch Perry Mason everyday at 11 because there's nothing else on. And because of his brilliant legal skills. I wanted to name a daughter Della but it would sound stupid with my last name.
5. I get too emotionally involved with my tv shows and sports teams.

Milestone

Tomorrow when I weigh-in at Weight Watchers, I will hit a milestone weight. 55lbs lost. Even more exciting...I only have 10 to go. I may be able to get there before Hermano's wedding in August. That's a good thing because the dress I bought doesn't fit yet. Neither does the other dress my Mama made me to wear to wear at the rehearsal. Even if I don't get to goal weight, I'd like to fit into the dresses.
Technically my goal weight is 15lbs to go but Mama thinks I would look gaunt. So I moved it up 5lbs. Plus it has given me hope that I can actually get there. 15lbs seemed insurmountable somehow but 10 seems possible. Sounds kind of silly considering how far I've come but I'm still very easily discouraged.
Only somewhat related side note: My new favorite snack is Fiber One Chewy Bars in Oats & Caramel. I dare say they are decadent. If you need more fiber in your diet, try them. I have to make sure I only eat one a day...otherwise, well, they have a lot of fiber that's all I'll say. Seriously I love them so I want to spread the word. They are good.